Saturday, June 14, 2008;8:51 PM Y
And I Wanna Be Your Everything For Life x3
Hey, I guess the blog is just some place for me to write something about? Well, I just want to crap some stuffs now... (: ha~These few days, after coming back from my trip.. My boy... He left for his operation... I was quite down, thinking and trying hard not to imagine the hard pain and sufferings he had to go through.... Just to clear some stupid illness within his body organ... My poor baby... I knew, I knew he was strong, he will make it through the operation and survive! For me :]
I had faith, and trust with him... I was happy and looking forward for his text, to tell me..
"Hey darling, sorry to make you worry, the operation was a success and i'll be back soon to visit you.."
That was what I hoped for... Indeed, I recieve a text, but guess it wasn't from him, but someone else.. It says...
"The operation wasn't a success and, if he doesn't wake up by tonight, no one knows when..."
It was okay, though a bit down because it wasn't successful, but I didn't lose the faith in him! I know he'll wake up (: I know he will!!
Waited the day, watched more online japanese videos , kept myself occupied.. So I just waited and waited.. Thinking.
He'll be alright right? He promised he'll be back.. he promised... I trusted him
(: yes~ He managed to hear my calls for him.. He woke up, even though it was later than expected, he did! I'm so proud of my baby~ :] I really am!! I'm proud he pulled it through, he made it... baby i'm happy~
I fell asleep, been having sleepless nights, but somehow, knowing that he's awake made me relieved.. I slept the night through... But when I woke up, I looked around. It was pitch dark.. I search frantically for my handphone, hoping for some text, but no, none.. Its okay, no new means no bad news (: taking it easy, I went to wash up... Switched on the comp, more jap videos to complete my hana kimi (jap ver!) Love it.. ikuta toma? is that his name. LOVEABLE sweet! (: So the morning was quite alright, but I was hoping to hear from him... i really did...
Things changed after the clock striked 12... It was around noon and his best buddie told me something... Something which I fear the most!! He fainted.. In the toilet.. & the worse thing of all is that he had to hit his head onto something!! Oh my gosh, I nearly fainted on hearing that.!! I was afraid.! Blood clot. In drama shows, people usually lose their memories when there's blood clot.. I thought;
"what if? What if he forgets about me, what am I going to do? I haven't got proof about our relation. "
"HOW?!"
I totally freaked out! I panicked! I thought loads of things!! Thankfully for his best friend, I had her to accompany me... I calmed down..
"he'll be okay, not to worry, just have faith!!"
Yeahh, that's what I thought... But then, things start to happen otherwise.. The bad stuffs just come pouring down, even though you're at your wits end of holding on and having faith, the bad things, they just appeared on my mind.. SLEEPING! one of the way to keep me from thinking too much, yeah~ I slept for a period of time... But who knew, sleeping wasn't the best solution ever... I went deep into thoughts, thinking about all the "what ifs" questions;
what if he forgets me?
what if he decides that it was troublesome to return back?
what if he found another love one there?
what if he suddenly left........ me, this world.....
I thought about stuffs, i'll be alone.. I gave everything up, for him.. I'm willing to make more sacrifices, just to have his time with me.. I just....... wanted him to be with me......
I woke up, finding myself lying on the couch, I woke up and found blood!! I guess I accidentally knocked my nose when i was sleeping and I thought...... this must be a bad omen! something must have happened!! I really panicked!!!!! I wanted to text, but i was barely 3am there??? I just waited for the best friend to online before asking her for information... I didn't want to disturb her anymore, but I guess that infomation is really important to me...... She was asking me to relax, I thought I should.. But the moment I sat back on my bed, I teared.... I've never teared this badly before! It was for more than a minute... I thought, how I wish I could call andros-gege now? I thought.... oh my gawd, i'm crying at that moment, how can I call him?? :/ But who knew? He called me instead?! At that moment, I breathed and was ready to talk, but the moment I hear his voice, the crying didn't stop.... Sorry, for hearing that moment of unglam moments, I could help it.. Wrong timing uh? :) haha.. dang, I felt so foolish..
Thanks for telling me, that I need not think so much... Although I didn't want anything to happen to him, and I did promise to be strong.. Yeah~ So I must! Until he comes back, I can just fall, and I believe he'll be there to catch me.. =)
After talking to him.. Buddies came online.. GOOD NEWS!!!
"sillyboy woke up!"
"& he sounded happy when I talked to him earlier"
"seems like he's able to make it back on time"
And does anyone knows what that means?! He's ALRIGHT!!! He woke up, he's happy and he's able to make it back.... 17th june... our 1st month. I was so happy then!! :) Thank the gods :') But but, seems like the man upstairs stilll didn't let him go. He left baby a present, a blood clot.. I thought, usually its hard to move with a blood clot, let alone sit a plane and come back?! I'm worried. I haven't got a chance to say anything but I really hope he could take care of his health first...
"Healthcare is more imporant than promises"
Even if he didn't return cause he needed to go for a minor check up, i wouldn't blame him. I really really want him to fully recover... I rather have him in top shape, and give me all his time, rather than have this minor time, just cause of the anniversary.. We can celebrate it next month or so? (: it doesn't have to be this alright?? I want you to take care... Iloveyou~
Labels: please let him live~
