Friday, June 20, 2008;8:14 AM Y
And I Wanna Be Your Everything For Life x3
a mistake indeed. I wasn't sure. I was not clear-minded when I said those stuff. I don't know.. I told a lie... I didn't want him worried... I drank to my fill and fell fast asleep after baby left. I'm sorry..
My day yesterday was a fun one, after chatting with andros-ge, I was quite alright. I just suddenly had this attack of 'the-conscious' at my brains. I was guilty of things that I should not have done. I wanted to tell him. Yet, at least now I know, baby's been there for me always too, I shouldn't be so self-thinking and just think for myself. True, I had to pick. Yet that doesn't mean the other have to leave right?! *sighs* I really don't know what to do. Beer really can drown your sorrow, but only for that moment somehow. After you wake up, you get a huge headache and of cause, remember the things that happened before. I guess drinking was a wrong thing, especially on empty stomach. I didn't want anyone to worry, so I just said I ate rice and some weird stuffs. I'm such a jerk....
This morning, after that particular text, I felt the world has crashed. Its like, losing a loved close one? So hurt and depressing. *grrr* I can't believe it!! But, if you insist, I'll leave you alone for that moment. & let you decide on how things can carry on after that. I'm sorry I said those stuffs to you that night. I was wrong, I didn't want to say anything but I too told baby about it. He was nice, and that's one thing that I really loved him for. He thought about others before himself. :] &&, of cause, if I treated him like crap, i'd get striked by lightning once I step out of house! But, this will not be called "repay" feelings, cause I know, I really love him, for all that he has done, and of cause being there for me, loving me and giving it all. I must be faithful to him.. Yes I must. No mixed feelings. I once said, 'only he can leave me, I cannot leave him' and of cause, I mean what I say! So I guess, SADLY, i'm going to stick with you for the rest of your days! haha! Torture you :D whee~
Andros-ge, you're my gan-ge, its wrong... haha, anyways, you're already going through alot, i'm here to help lift your burden instead of adding it on.. Hope you take it that i've never said anything yesterday [: &&, i guess if I really had mixed feelings, it'd be one sided and.. its too, no happiness.. Soo its okay to let it go.... Forget it...
Baby; i'm looking forward to saturday (: i can't believe what i'm going to say but, i'm going to dress-up!! ^^, i'd bet, walking around in my town area would really really attract all those familar peeps cause, i look feminine ^^ I'll try to become one too, NO PROMISES.. &, i want to see you in a dress!! I'd do the make-up for you pretty boy (: you'd look great! Sisters day out! you can qiao your pi gu and walk in heels, i'm so going to love it :p.. Love you baby~ I can't wait. don't disappoint me.....
*doubt plan B can be carried out now...* Hmmm, i wonder...
Labels: iMADEaMISTAKE
