Somehow, my feelings are twirling up. The uncertain feelings surface and I think i'm losing it. Or in simple, I think I'm going to lose it.. My mind most likely. The whole week has been trying to fight through, having faith. Yes, I'm willing to go through all these, and I shouldn't complain. I know. Yet, after that sentence " let's break". The whole world crash onto me. I lost all my hope, I cried all my sorrow out. Til noon, I finally let go of things.. I didn't expect anything, but seems like, the journey for us didn't end. I'm happy, I really am. I'm feeling the whole of a heart again, but somewhat, the feelings ain't how it used to be anymore. I'm sorry... I'm finding the feelings back, yet I'm scared too. One setback of a break-up is one hell of an impact to me already, I fear that "death" might actually come across my mind, though I've been trying to be strong, fighting all the way.. Another fall, might really bring out the "outcasted" side of me.. I'm afraid, but neither ways do I want it to turn out. I want you, yet I'm losing it! Okay, I guess I don't really make much sense.. But anyways,
happy one month anniversary~
I shall start telling about what I did today. Had to wake up at 5plus today, as I promised myself, NOT to be late for the appointment. Reached there on time! But somehow.. Someone was LATE! haha, I'm so going to suan til I'm satisfied (: hehes.. He came, and we went off to town! Early morning 8am, for breakfast. Going to town, thought of the nice food there? Yeap! But guess what we ate? MacDonalds!!! Awesome, kuku head spoke chinese!! China man!! :D He ate someone which he hated, but it was his first time, so sorry :/ We went around town, visits to hotel toilets!! Awesome times spent!!! To think we were dreaming of staying there?! Each room cost hundreds, each meal cost hundreds! Total equals to thousands! Then we just went out, looking depressed. Well, least I got a chance to use the toilet (: hurray~ Went around the place again, around far east, around paragon, around herens, more hotels and finally we left town and off to ACS [barker]. I couldn't believe his description about the school so I thought why not check it out myself? :DDDD AWESOME PLACE!! dang, I'd kill to get there!! Sadly its a boys school. Hmmm, I don't mind becoming like the drama show, "hana kimi" and start changing into a guy, just to get into that school!! :D Woot!!! 1st sight was the swimming guys!!! AWWWWWW.... It was sooo nice to see em reflex their muscles and swim laps. Too bad the water polo team had training in the afternoon, so wouldn't be able to get a chance to check em out :( saddenning! But went to check out the places, with the lockers, library, basketball court, canteen, tennis court, concert hall, and we took lifts!! LIFTS!! they have LIFTS!!! what the?? I was filled with so much envy I didn't want to go :((( SOBS!! But in the end, went back to far east, and we stoned while waiting for the 12noon to strike and it'll be his dooms day :D haha! We had fun, strolling around, talking! plus crapping alot and we bought this anklet together. Dang, everytime he forces to pay! Its not fair! :/ I guess I owe him x( But nevermind, will try to get a mirror for him, hello kitty~~ :DDD pink pink!! :x In the end, things happened, stuff myself with bensandjerry icecream, I was desperate for ice-cream.. He too bought me that.. I spend soo much cash on him!! i'm guilty!!!! :[[[ Then I sent him off for school, he gave me some nice eclipse~ Which was my present :D lovely!! he actually made em for me... and one thing is that, he was there when I was down.. argh~....
Labels: broken, confused.., lost