I don't like making decisions, but every time I just have to be so stupid to just make some silly decision, and cause someone else to feel hurt. I knew, I knew it was going to hurt him real bad, yet you still have to suggest this stupid solution! Why??

That was what he said, isn't it obvious that he doesn't agree with you, but as he's willing to listen to you. He's willing to silently suffer, without letting you know. I... I failed to notice something as important as this. I don't know why, why is he keeping these from me. I really want to know how he feel!! I really want to... I know, he wants me to be happy, but without knowing what is he feeling, I can never be happy. I need to know what's going through his mind, and what he really wants. I want to be someone there for him. I want to support him everywhere he go and take care of him when he needs a helping hand. But why? Why can't I just stay on by his side? I always have these thoughts, about being there for him always, but at times, I'm scared. I don't want to be hurt by those scary thoughts about being alone again. I had thoughts, thoughts about myself being alone even though I have him. I just don't get it. Is it the sense of secure? I don't know how to put it, but every time I feel the insecurity about the surrounding. I guess the thing about guys being able to give their girlfriend a sense of secure, really matters. I don't know why. I feel that, I have to still protect myself even if I'm with him. I want to have someone, able to protect me, to show me our comfort zone, and when being with him, I feel secure and feel that there's something surrounding us, which will be protecting me. Yes, I believe that's what I want. He has been there for me, always been there for me to give me support and all, but I guess the thing I'm lacking now... is the sense of secure.

haha~ amazing why am I talking about all these shitty things, when I know that I've already torn his heart apart from his fragile body? He's not enjoying the moments spent with me, and I've been giving him troubles ever since I came into his wonderful life. I haven't been able to give him what he needs. Every successful guy has a female beside him, and because that female is me, his successful life has overturn into a chaotic one.. *sighs*

I want things to restart, things to turn out for the better. When will that day come? Time is running out, I have no time for games... If this continues, I might have to wait til next year til graduation.. hell...

{{ i-love-youONLY.blogspot.com ]}


Thinking about you every day and night wondering are you doing the same
The days that were spent together will always remain
Don't give up, cause I'll always be here for you no matter what

I want to feel how you're feeling,
I want to go through the sufferings with you..
I wanna be the strong independent girl for you to lean on,
I want to take care of you..

I want to love you with all my heart,
I want you to not lose hope,
I want to be there for you always,
I want you..

>

Name; laoPO♥
Age; 16 this year
Sagittarius

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♥ laoGONG {[ 15.05.08 ]}
♥ androsGE
♥ benHANDSOME
♥ sitiJUNIOR
♥ shariSUNSHINE


~.Wish List.~

01. I-pod
02. New Laptop
03. New Casing
04. Ear-Pluged - EarPiece
05. Get into NgeeAnn Poly
06. New Handphone
07. New high-cut shoes
08. 10th Ear Hole
09. NIL
10. NIL

bold ; italic ; underline .

♥laoGONG
♥stepHANIE
♥ragingPIG
♥

It goes out to everyone, including the reader, [YOU]
More love to the closed ones;
TWO in fact, no comparision because they are both my guardian angels~

1.my BABY - my heart has your name written all over!
2.ragingPIG - hongster {[bitch & bastard]}