The whole of yesterday, it was tough to get by.... I'm trying hard, to decide what I want. But it seems like, everything that I do, it seems to go the wrong way. Especially in making decisions. I don't even know whether doing this, is the right thing or not. I really don't know. But what I know, is that... whatever decision I make, either ways someone will be hurt. At times I question myself, do he really love me. Words yes, actions? I really don't know. Maybe I'm just being too demanding or maybe I'm just being selfish. I remember, that time I dressed up for him, just for HIM. Yet, I waited at the shopping mall like an idiot, waiting for him. He was still stuck in the hospital as his dad was watching him. I don't know, I actually hoped that for once, you would sneak out or least tell your father, just for ONE day.. You would just risk it, just to see me. But no, I waited for 3 hours alone, and by then, I still have to wait for van to come over and assist you? She was coming down from home! How long more do you want me to wait?? I looked around when people stared at me. I could feel that they were mocking me, dressing up and waiting for nothing. I felt........
I thought I didn't care about it, but it really did hurt for me. Did it hurt for you?

I realise, if things really did work out, and these things didn't happen. I believe that we would last, til the very end? Marry each other? Have a nice family and a wonderful house to live in. Wouldn't that be nice? Seems like its too late to turn back the clock, but I don't think it can even be done.

baby; you've been doing all the wonderful things for me, cooking my favourite food, sewing, chocolates?? I can't seem to thank you enough. The thing I made for you, for our 2nd month anniversary, its still with me. Everyday I open my closet, I look at it. I thought, when will be the day you come and take it away from me? Hmmm, til now I still hope that you would show up, right at my doorstep, and tell me, the hardship is all over. I want all these sufferings to vanish from your sight. I know, I once said that I'd be there for you always, and I will!! Since I said that, I will keep my promise. But the only thing that have changed is that, I'll be here for you as a friend.
I'll be more than willing to give you all the support you need to get things through, give you the hugs that you need! I would! But please, don't hurt yourself anymore..
I know, beebe had went off, and everything seems to be crashing onto you. I'm sorry for leaving.... I hope you understand that, I had my reason for doing that. But I don't know if I made the right decision, because you seem to be affected by me, in whatever things I say. You, will be the one suffering. I don't want that to happen.
I admit, the feelings for you, has slightly faded, not because of any other but it has.... I was thinking hard, on that Friday, whether I made the right decision. I questioned my friend, he said, if you made it, don't regret because its of no use? I agree with him, so I won't regret, but I really hope that I'll be able to help in supporting you again.

baby; friend or girlfriend, its just a status. I really hope you agree with me on this, and I hope that, after you read this, you'll gain some hope. I just want to say; I am and will always be here for you! I seriously, WILL! But even if I want to give you the support, you have to take it right? Things are going tough for you I know. But then, I seriously blame myself for leaving you in the lurch. But NO, I won't leave you alone. I'll be here for you. Get things over alright? Please, after reading this, I really hope you will at least, give my a text or call. Just tell me, you'll survive the Tuesday op! Tell me you'll be alright. I need to see or hear that. & please tell me that you will take my hand and allow me to support you and cheer you on. I know, status wise, it will be different, but I really hope you won't mind. I'm not going for any other guy, because now, I have a task! Will you accept this hand of mine, to support you? I really want to help you, and help you regain hope in life. I don't know how will I do it, but I want to!! Please give me a chance, to help you.
You can ignore this, if you think its over already.. Because, I wouldn't have anything to say. I'm really trying my best, and I want to give you the best I can. I can't buy you a home, nor buy you anything fanciful because me myself, I'm broke. & I barely have enough cash to get by meals, so its either you see me eat or not eat at all. But I did take care of myself, and I'm not sick.. because I know you need my support! so I cannot bear to fall ill, because I have to take care of you andy~

Stop deluding yourself, thinking that you can do this alone. I don't think anyone can. Since beebe is not there for you, I don't know if you have the support of nette or chun or who. But, I really hope that, I'll be able to help you get by...

please call or least, text me, by today..... 12midnight! I'll be waiting. If you don't text, I think I get you and I won't enter your life again. I'll vanish as a thorn from your life and hope that others will be able to push you on...

Take care~
#kimmy

{{ i-love-youONLY.blogspot.com ]}


Thinking about you every day and night wondering are you doing the same
The days that were spent together will always remain
Don't give up, cause I'll always be here for you no matter what

I want to feel how you're feeling,
I want to go through the sufferings with you..
I wanna be the strong independent girl for you to lean on,
I want to take care of you..

I want to love you with all my heart,
I want you to not lose hope,
I want to be there for you always,
I want you..

>

Name; laoPO♥
Age; 16 this year
Sagittarius

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♥ laoGONG {[ 15.05.08 ]}
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~.Wish List.~

01. I-pod
02. New Laptop
03. New Casing
04. Ear-Pluged - EarPiece
05. Get into NgeeAnn Poly
06. New Handphone
07. New high-cut shoes
08. 10th Ear Hole
09. NIL
10. NIL

bold ; italic ; underline .

♥laoGONG
♥stepHANIE
♥ragingPIG
♥

It goes out to everyone, including the reader, [YOU]
More love to the closed ones;
TWO in fact, no comparision because they are both my guardian angels~

1.my BABY - my heart has your name written all over!
2.ragingPIG - hongster {[bitch & bastard]}